The modern-day father often faces complex pressures and responsibilities that can hinder his ability to be fully present for his family. Balancing career demands, personal aspirations, and the evolving roles of parenthood can create significant challenges to him being fulfilled and confident in his role in the family. This could make him feel as if he is falling short or sometimes disconnected from family life. So, this question is an important one: what do you do as a father to connect and plug in intentionally with your family?
I remember eating together at the dinner table being a regular event in our house every night. I am not sure why or how we mandated this expectation, but the benefits, which I found out years later from my children, is that they considered (and still consider) this daily ritual the most important thing we did to connect as a family. They also offered that many of their friends didn’t share the same experience in their homes. Did dinnertime bring value to our family? My kids overwhelmingly say it did — and not only them, but also to the large number of their friends who regularly joined around our table.
I think most dads desire a family-centered life when they get married and begin having children; however, everywhere I turn, I run into dads who feel they are missing the mark when it comes to sharing life and connecting with their children. We have to be intentional about being family-centered and placing significance on the benchmarks of our children’s lives. Building a strong, family-centered life is a cornerstone of a fulfilling existence with our family. Recognizing the potential value of any upcoming event or milestone will help us fathers be available and present to experience and celebrate them, while also allowing us to appreciate and weave these important moments into the fabric of our family unit. A father’s role in fostering the family-centered environment is paramount for him and for them — especially as his family grows together in those first 18 years, when his children are living at home. Here are five practices to consider when trying to build a family-centered life:
1. Prioritize quality time
In our fast-paced world, quality time is often overlooked. Dedicate specific, uninterrupted time to each family member and to the family as a whole. This could involve shared hobbies, nights of board games, or simply engaging in meaningful conversations. Regular family dinners also can be a cornerstone of connection. Remember, it’s not about the quantity of time spent together, but the quality of interactions.
2. Cultivate open communication
Open communication is the bedrock of any strong relationship, especially within a family. Create a safe space where everyone feels comfortable sharing their thoughts, feelings, and concerns. Active listening is essential. Show genuine interest in what your family members have to say, and validate their emotions. Regular family meetings can be a structured way to foster open dialogue.
3. Build strong family traditions
Family traditions create a sense of belonging and anticipation. Whether it’s a weekly pizza night, annual camping trips, or holiday celebrations, these rituals strengthen family bonds. Involve your children in creating traditions, allowing them to feel ownership and excitement.
4. Foster a supportive and loving environment
A home filled with love, support, and encouragement is essential for a child’s development. Celebrate successes, offer comfort in failures, and provide unwavering support. Teach your children the importance of empathy, kindness, and respect for others. By modeling these values, you create a positive and nurturing environment for your family.
5. Lead by example
Children learn by observing their parents. Demonstrate the behaviors and values you want to instill in your children. Show them the importance of hard work, dedication, and perseverance. Be a role model of a loving, committed partner to your spouse. Your actions speak louder than words, so ensure your behavior aligns with the family values you want to cultivate.
Remember that building a strong, connected family takes time and effort. It’s a journey, not a destination. Be patient, consistent, and flexible. Most importantly, enjoy the process of creating a loving and supportive family environment, knowing it will take sacrifice and intentionality on your part. The report card on whether you succeeded or failed sometimes won’t come in until after your kids are older, but invest with all your might, and be prepared to practice delayed gratification when examining the results. Trust me: doing the right thing at the right time will bring you long-term blessings.