I recently was watching a post-game interview with Draymond Green of the Golden State Warriors, and out of nowhere, he shared a story about one of his teammates. These were his words:
“I want to mention something that I saw today that no one will care about. Trayce Jackson-Davis did something on the bench today. He didn’t play in the game. There were no seats left on the bench. Quinten Post said (to Trayce Jackson-Davis), ‘Trayce, can I get that seat?’ And
Trayce just got up. A part of me was baffled that he got up for the rookie, because as the rookie, if there’s no seat, you sit on the floor.”
Green continued, describing Jackson-Davis’s selfless act:
“He just got up and gave him the seat. And I walked over to him (to Trayce Jackson-Davis), I said, ‘That’s one of the most selfless things I’ve ever seen a teammate do, because 99% of the time, you’re gonna be like, ‘You go sit on the floor, Rook, or go find a seat somewhere else.'”
Jackson-Davis, though not in the rotation, literally stood in the tunnel while the rookie played. Green emphasized this moment to highlight the team spirit crucial for their playoff run.
In a world that often shouts, “Me first!,” how do we instill in our children a different and more profound truth — this concept of “I am third?” I’m sure you have heard this phrase this before, or you have seen it written on a t-shirt. Every time I see it or hear it, I am reminded in my own thoughts that God has a different plan for us, and often our perspective should be radically different than that of the world.
This powerful “I AM THIRD” principle places God first, others second, and ourselves a humble third. It’s more than just a catchy phrase, it’s a radical reorientation of the heart. This concept steers us away from self-centeredness towards a life centered on Christ, with love and service at its core.
As parents, we naturally long to raise compassionate, generous children. We want them to understand the deep joy found in putting God and their neighbor before themselves. But how do we translate this profound theological idea into practical, everyday lessons for our kids? Let’s explore some actionable strategies and intentional approaches. These can help our children truly carry the banner of “I AM THIRD,” shaping a generation that lives with purpose, humility, and a selfless spirit.
What dads need to understand about the ‘Me Third’ mindset
Let’s make sure we dads first have a full understanding of what “I AM THIRD” is really saying to us, so we can authentically live this out ourselves, while also teaching our children it is a better way to go. Consider that “I AM THIRD” is:
A Radical Reorientation of Self-Centeredness: At its core, “I am third” is a profound counter-cultural statement against inherent human self-centeredness. In a world that often encourages prioritizing “me first,” this concept places God unequivocally as first and others as second. The individual, then, moves from being the primary focus to a supportive role. At its core, “I AM THIRD” comes from this idea the “I am not my own” (1 Cor 6:19-20). This isn’t about self-abasement in a negative sense, but rather a liberation from the burden of always needing to be first or in control. It acknowledges that true fulfillment and purpose are found when one’s life is lived in alignment with a higher purpose and in service to others.
A daily habit of being more like Jesus in tennis shoes. Think about Jesus. He was, and is, fully God, that means all-powerful, all-knowing, truly divine. But when He came to earth, He didn’t cling to all those incredible divine privileges. He basically “emptied” Himself of that high-and-mighty status, choosing instead to become a humble servant, just like us, and eventually even giving His life for us on the cross. That’s a huge act of selflessness, right? The “I am third” idea is all about trying to live like Jesus did. It’s not just about being a “good person” or doing nice things here and there. It’s a deeper call to radically put others first, even when it’s tough, inconvenient, or costs us something. It means choosing to serve instead of
always wanting to be served, to give rather than always taking, and to lift up others instead of constantly seeking attention or praise for ourselves. It’s a beautiful, challenging way to live, following in the footsteps of the One who gave everything.
A foundation for authentic community and service. When individuals truly embrace the “I am third” mindset, it transforms relationships and fosters genuine community. In a group where everyone is striving to put God first and others second, there’s less competition, more
collaboration, and a greater sense of unity. Conflicts diminish because personal agendas take a back seat. This perspective is vital for effective Christian service and mission. When the focus shifts from personal glory or success to the needs of those being served, ministry
becomes more authentic, impactful, and less prone to burnout. It cultivates a spirit of humility and interdependence, recognizing that the work is God’s, and we are merely His instruments.
A call to ongoing spiritual formation. “I am third” is more than a catchy phrase, it represents a continuous journey of spiritual formation and discipleship. It’s not a destination but a daily practice of yielding to God’s will and considering the needs of others. This requires ongoing prayer, reflection, and a willingness to be challenged and transformed by the Holy Spirit. It means constantly asking, “How can I honor God in this situation?” and “How can I best serve the person in front of me?” It pushes individuals beyond superficial piety into a deeper, more mature faith where self-denial is embraced as a pathway to true life and abundant joy, mirroring the paradox that Jesus taught: “whoever loses their life for my sake will find it”
(Matthew 10:39).
How to teach your kids to be ‘Me Third’
What does it look like for us to be “I Am Third” for our children, and to encourage them to carry this banner as well? Teaching children the “I am third” concept is a journey of intentional living and modeling. Teaching our kids to embrace “I am third” is about helping them grow a heart that cares
deeply for God and for others, not just giving them a catchy slogan to repeat. Here are some practical ways we can help our children truly live out this idea:
- You Live It Out in Front of Them. Kids are like sponges; they soak up so much more from what they see us do than from what we tell them.
– Make God a priority. Let your children see you putting God first. This might mean having consistent family devotion times, setting aside personal quiet time for prayer or reading the Bible, and making church a non-negotiable. Explain why you do these things, because
God is number one and deserves our devotion.
– Serve others together. Get them involved in serving. Let them watch you put your spouse’s needs before your own, offer a hand to a neighbor, volunteer at church, or prepare a meal for someone who’s having a tough time. Talk about why you’re doing it – to show God’s love and to help people.
– Forgive freely. We all mess up. When conflicts happen in your home, model quick forgiveness and reconciliation with your spouse, and even with your kids. This shows them what it means to value the relationship and the other person more than holding onto a grudge.
– Show humility. Don’t be afraid to admit when you’re wrong. Apologize sincerely, and ask for forgiveness. This teaches our children that putting others first sometimes means setting aside our pride. - Weave the concept into everyday conversation. Make “I am third” a natural part of your family’s daily discussion. Here are some ideas for building your approach:
– Introduce the idea simply. For younger children, you can use playful language like, “Who’s first? Who’s second? Who’s third?” You can even use fingers or toys to visually represent God first, others second, and themselves third.
– Talk through real-life situations. When siblings are bickering or a friend conflict comes up, use it as a chance to discuss “I am third.” Ask, “How could we put God first in this situation?” or “How can we think about what [sibling’s name] needs right now?”
– Point out selfless acts. When you see someone (in a book, on TV, or in real life) acting selflessly, point it out and praise it. Ask, “How was that person putting others first?”
– Use Bible stories: The Bible is full of amazing examples of people putting God first and serving others. Think about:
o The Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37): A powerful story about helping someone in need, no matter who they are.
o Jesus Feeds the 5,000 (Matthew 14:13-21): Jesus shows incredible compassion and care for a huge crowd.
o The Widow’s Offering (Mark 12:41-44): A moving story about giving generously even when you have very little.
o Joseph Forgives His Brothers (Genesis 45): A profound example of choosing forgiveness and the well-being of others despite past hurts.
o Jesus Washing the Disciples’ Feet (John 13:1-17): The ultimate leader humbly serving those He led. - Create chances to serve. Make serving others a regular, hands-on part of their lives. Here are some ideas:
– Family Service Projects. As a family, volunteer at a local food bank, visit a nursing home, or help out at a homeless shelter. You could help a neighbor with their yard, deliver cookies to first responders, or get involved in a church outreach event.
– “Chores as Service.” Help them see household chores not just as tasks, but as ways to serve the family. “When you clean your room, you’re helping our family have a peaceful home for everyone.” “When you help with dishes, you’re serving everyone who ate.”
– Acts of Kindness Jar. Get a jar or a board where family members can write down acts of kindness they’ve done or noticed. Celebrate these moments and encourage more.
– Be generous with possessions. Encourage them to share their toys, donate old clothes or toys, or give a portion of their allowance to church or a charity they care about. Help them understand that what they have is a gift from God meant to be shared.
– Care for family. Encourage older siblings to help younger ones, and teach all your children to show kindness, patience, and understanding towards each other. - Nurture Empathy and Gratitude. The “I am third” mindset really blossoms from understanding and caring about others.
– Ask, “How would they feel?” When talking about different situations, prompt your kids to consider how others might be feeling. “How do you think your friend felt when you said that?” or “How would you feel if that happened to you?”
– Build a “Thank You” culture. Encourage your kids to express gratitude often. Have them write thank-you notes, say “thank you” often, and recognize when others serve them. This helps shift their focus from what they get to what others give.
– Point out acts of kindness. We see kindness played out in live in many different situations. Take notice of it and point it out when it happens in front of your kids. For example, when a person offers to help another person who is loading their groceries into their car while also holding an infant. They are unprompted; they don’t linger for praise or expect anything in return; they just offer a brief, genuine smile and go about their day. That small, thoughtful act, born out of noticing someone else’s need, is a beautiful example of everyday kindness. Point it out, because most people won’t see it.
Parenting is an incredible journey, and when it comes to instilling values like “I am third,” remember this isn’t a checklist to tick off, but a beautiful, ongoing process. You’re not just teaching a concept, you’re nurturing a heart that truly seeks to put God first and others second. Don’t feel pressured to have all the answers or to be perfect. Your children are watching, yes, but they’re also learning from your efforts, your genuine desire, and even your mistakes. Every time you model humility, every heartfelt conversation about kindness, every chance you create for them to practice service, these are the building blocks. Trust that through your consistent, loving guidance, your children are indeed developing a deep, Christ-like heart for service. It’s a lifelong adventure of spiritual growth for your whole family, filled with grace and incredible rewards. Keep going; you’re doing vital work!